Probably the one hurdle to cross is learning how to communicate early in the search process for a better romantic relationship. These suggestions also apply to friendships, business relationships and you life in general. This process has been difficult for all of us, but trust me here if you do not ask the right questions then problems will jump back into the basket of dilemma later down the road. First and foremost you must discern information about this soul by judging his/her actions. Are they on time? Do they complete task when volunteering to help you? Do they do what they say they are going to do? Are they constantly blaming others for their problems? Does the partner have mood swings with other individuals as well as you? Do you like the way they dress? Can you be accepting of their family background or better yet have you met the family? I can go on and on with this type of questioning, but hopefully you get the picture. You would be surprised to learn that few people even come close to their own search. We are not playing "Cinderella " here. The search for Prince or Princess Charming is a process, and either you get onto the discovery path or you will enjoy the same thing once more. There are no short cuts to this journey, but if you enjoy having the same experience over and over again enjoy. The worst of all is sex. Your sex partners past and present should also be part of the discussion. I would guess that most people with problems have never ventured into this "land of the unknown". It is always put on the "back burner" of life. Sexually transmitted diseases have now become a killer to us all. Wake up! Ask questions. These series of questions will help you establish trust or, lack of trust, with the partner. Remember, you life is important enough to protect.
Your job is to learn to step up to the plate and observe. Always when it is something that is not acceptable, it will be your job to turn it down. Do not "oh well" this situation as it will never go away. Remember, it is not your job to remake this individual, it is your job to accept and love this individual, or gently dismiss this individual from your possibilities. And always, it is essential to hold the sex until these questions have been resolved. Once sex has entered into the picture everyone shuts down emotionally to protect the relationship, or protect the ability to have sex. The sexual relationship becomes the "golden calf" of the duo involved, and talk is suspended for a while until yes, the relationship runs off into the ditch with problems. To avert problems it is important to "load your basket" so to speak with as much information that you can obtain so that you can select a better partner.
For me, it was important to have a spiritual discussion with my mate of choice. I told this future prospect that it was not important how he believed, but that he believed. He accepted that with a "no problem response". I also told him that it was important that he accept me as I was. That if there were changes that he needed me to make, it was not okay and I would accept his answer. Again, we both agreed not to take each other's inventory (ex. how they dressed, what they said to others, and even how to drive) Both of us agreed we would work on this concept of "no inventory taking". Even when one of us is gaining weight, we stay silent, even now.
Point of observation here. No one wants to talk about sex. Well, this is a major factor. This can be a death sentence for a couple as love. On the humorous side my friends from another planet once said, " if you folks ever learn how to have sex, you will quit jumping from bed to bed." I thought that was funny then, I still smile with amusement. Have a good day. J
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