I was born under a cloud of worry. Here, in my later years of life, it is the primary defect of character that remains to be a reminder for me to continue to accept change , and learn from my mistakes.
First grade was ever so painful for me as sitting still was not my best character trait. To this day, I get angry when children are put into a place without windows. Some of my best thinking was done in the "zone" of watching what was going on outside. I always put off doing anything and evidence of this was the one of the first spiritual lessons. So, we were assigned a book to read and then solve the questions at the bottoms of the page. Supplies needed to solve the questions of course were the color pencils required. I had neglected to do this work in the classroom and took these colorless pages home to finish. I was loaded with pages of uncolored pictures. Sally, the child in the book had blond hair, Spot of course suggest a color of black and white, and so on. Remember, I was also a perfectionist. It all came down to time for bed, and I had not done one ounce of work.....What to do? Crank up the crying and pitch and moan the, "this is too hard, I can't". Wonderful the whole scheme worked, Mother volunteered. (if you know anything about co-dependency you will understand this is a bad thing for a mother to do). Mother took on the task of coloring like a 6 year old, closed the book, and returned it to me. I did not see the work, until at school, I decided to open this masterpiece. .......What a nightmare, it was horrific, and furthermore Sally's hair wasn't even the right color. What a lesson here for me. Right then and there I learned to never let Mother touch my homework. I would have to do it myself. Now surely you understand here that the spiritual lesson was at work which is never have anyone do for you what you can do for yourself.
Did this spiritual lesson present itself again to me? Of course, over and over and over, until I learned this wonderful lesson.. It presented itself in a different ways, many years later this time when I was now the mother. The science project was due in school for the second grade class. The victim here was me, now the mother, who was busy doing lessons for my son that he refused to do. I was clueless. God forbid that the neighbors think my boy was stupid. So I would show them how smart he was and complete this science project for him. I am happy to say that I, not Scott, but I won second place in the city of Kansas City school for science. Now really......it never dawned on me, that I was repeating the same problem with a different twist until years later when I was working on me. Schools are notorious about accepting work that is clearly not done by the student. This is another subject all to itself, but for Scott, my son it took a while for him to grow up, because I was constantly jumping into his path, and trying to solve the problems for him. As parents we all do this at times, and believe you me, these little scenes of pain will repeat until we have the wisdom to let the soul involved solve his or her own problems. The "catch 22" here is that the problems not only repeat, but they intensify until the soul wakes up and takes charge of his or her life. Your life lessons start from the beginning and last until the end. Maybe this little example can help you too reflect and learn about some of your mistakes of the past.
The Universe does not care how young you are to start learning. And as always these lessons will continue for us all until we observe our crazy behavior of repeating the same old stuff over and over again. What are you continuing to do?
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