Continuing on lessons from my childhood.
Mother was always the one to call when a catastrophe occurred. I remember the phone ringing and upon my awakening realizing that Mother was gone. This particular phone call dealt with the death of a friend, and in those days there was no such thing as EMS or emergency vehicles that dealt much with sickness. Even the family doctors still made house calls.
Mother arrived at this house only to have to pronounce death of the husband who had apparently died of a heart attack. It was she that consoled the wife, and like Mother was she took charge of the household and put it in order so that visitors could pay their respects. The husband was a well know physician in Fort Worth, and now the wife was a young widow with four young children. Women had not yet started working. Yes, some jobs were available to women, but understand here no such thing as equal opportunity. Mother did not stop with her help. The house was cleaned, food was prepared for the little family, and visitors were received. The show went on, and Mother never did complain. Often during those early years, I remember the baby, being at our house, and Mother having the patience for childcare. That was a monumental task for her as she was not particularly crazy about keeping kids. But she always "rose to the occasion', jumped into the solution and never looked back. Even years later she gave the car that my sister and I drove in college to the youngest Lawson children. That Renault 4 cv rode many miles before it finished, and I often have a smile if ever one still passes by.
Mother had experienced the death of two brothers when she was at the age of 12/13 years of age. These two events were here teacher and also this pain of loss accompanied her for the rest of her life. The loss probably forced her to begin stuffing emotions as her family or origin did also not deal with pain in a healthy way. With that fact in mind, few knew how to accept pain into their life. Left to deal with life was my mother and her younger brother of two years. Both were to become alcoholic, and I always think of this horrific event when understanding the disease of alcohol. All of that emotional pain with no place to put it eventually pulled the two of them down. This event, even though I had not yet entered life always was a teacher to me when understanding family events that could or could have not had an enormous impact upon my mother and her brother as well as my grandparents, who never were compatible.
Mother was called many times over death experiences. Intuitively she always knew what to do. For example the clothes of the deceased were the first to leave the house. In metaphysical terms it is not good to keep items of the deceased when they could in fact help someone else. Harboring a vibration of that soul with old clothes causes for the mourner nothing more than added pain. On an intuitive level, Mother knew that most of the clothes had to go. Even when working with clients today, those souls that hang on to objects, clothing, stuff in general keeps them in the mourning state, and stagnates their growth. Within a year, the stuff should be gone. This Mother knew, and was years ahead of herself spiritually. She even brought me into the room when my Grandmother was dying of cancer to show me what the body was doing to shut down. Morbid for many of you, but this spiritual gift enabled me to recognize death, not be fearful of it, accept the fact that all of us transition into another life. So, put your big girl pants on and move on with it. Learn to celebrate that the life has now moved into another dimension. By all means celebrate the occasion as best as you can.
About 5 years after the death of Dr. Lawson Mother and I were driving home when we witnessed the oldest child of this family hit by a car. Mother parked the car. She told me to get home the best way I could, and left in the ambulance with Janet, the child who had been injured. Never did she complain nor did she question what she was supposed to do, she always responded. Spiritually, it was a training ground for me as I learned then that we always learn more about life by example. Very important for all of us to understand here. It is easy to tell someone how to do something, but to do whatever it takes when there is a need sets a far higher water mark. Now me? I was as usual very irritated that I of all people I had to walk about 4 miles to find comfort. I knew better than to complain here. But this incident of my past behavior even at 12 years of age was a reminder of ego gone south when I examine my part in this story.
We were without air conditioning in those days. In Texas summer can reach 102 degrees to 105. Surviving in the heat was uncomfortable during the heat of the day, but for Janet she was in a full body cast and on her back in a hospital bed for the summer. Wouldn't you know that my curious brain was how did she manage to go to the bathroom? I never asked that question because of the "no talk" rules in my family. Looking back, how stupid, but again another lesson. Selfishly on my part no concern here for this little friend of mine. Now, the lesson. I was to walk to Janet's house and remain for the better part of the morning and early afternoon. Mother even stipulated how long that time period was to be for me. Oh torture, I had to get off my duff and help someone who I really didn't know very well. But always one did not argue with Mother. What did I learn from the experience? Mother taught me how to give, when to give, and never boast about anything of these good deeds. Simply do them even when you are not particularly happy about it.
Today when I see children not opening the doors for elderly people, or assisting when someone drops something and needs help, I have to think that these souls did not have my mother to lead the way. As children, we should be taught to help, even if we are griping and complaining. As I see it, we have become a society that fears more about being sued rather than helping someone in need. What kind of example of love does this teach? This reminder of Janet in the bed always brings the memory of learning to help others even when the desire was not there. Now it is instinctive to me.
When do you know when to give? You give if someone ask for help. You give if there is apparent need for help. But you must understand that you also learn when not to give. Do not waste your efforts upon someone who does not want help. Sounds obvious, but you never know how often we jump into other's lesson without first establishing if there is a need. Learn the difference.
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