You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Real simple here, folks, you have got to take a hard look at yourselves and be perfectly honest here when you are attracting the wrong kind of people. Remember, it is you that is drawing these people into your life. Your truths, your thoughts, the whole deal here. How many times I have heard that men or women will claim that the opposite sex is horrible (I'm cleaning up my language here, it has been described with greater detail). How nice! This is the first give away of what you are drawing to yourself. So where do you start? How do you change?
You start by making a list. This is the only time I will give you opportunity to take other's inventory, but it must be done. Parents, friends that have been caustic, relationships that went sour so to speak, what was their character defect? Some of the categories are: emotional abuse, untruthfulness, unfaithful, sexual abuse, never "being there", financially deficient, unable to be an equal partner, and on and on until you are able to see just what is coming down the pike. I promise you here. Your list will have everything you learned from your childhood. Now isn't that special?????
Okay so now you know. What to do? Change your thinking, change your actions, but you can not ever change anyone else. When you change your behavior to others you will receive a different reaction. Your job is to accept the new friend as he or she is. It is not your job to re-make him or her. It is simply your job to accept or to turn down whatever just walked into your life.
Remember that I said slow down with the bedtime thing. Okay. Another gift is that more information will be given with ease before sex occurs. After sex, both sides guard their turf because they do not want to destroy what is going on here. The man likes his set up and the female also likes the way the "nest " appears. Both shut up. Now back to some universal truths here to discover what has walked into your life before sex. Do they do what they say they will do? Do they show up on times or disappear with some flimsy excuse, do they pay their bills? Are they always truthful to you. Do they try to control the entire stage by never allowing your participation? (Do not ever believe that you can change bad habits this one will wear you out!)
Often times couple get involved with what I call power struggles. (this one can be comical) One example here is how we load the dishwasher.. Now do you really think that this is worth an argument here? How you hang your clothes up in a closet doesn't matter, but what matters is that you allow this soul to make some of his or her choices. As long as the job gets done does it matter who used the broom? You would be surprised how often this occurs. Restaurants is another delima. Is it that important on where you go to eat? Why not turn loose of the control here and try something new for a change?
I realize that I am poking fun at what I see couples do. But really, you should stay out of this silly power struggle if there is a problem here. But I am going to confess here this is difficult to do so practice, practice, practice.
Next post will be some stories that came to about this subject, you might like it.........Judith
You start by making a list. This is the only time I will give you opportunity to take other's inventory, but it must be done. Parents, friends that have been caustic, relationships that went sour so to speak, what was their character defect? Some of the categories are: emotional abuse, untruthfulness, unfaithful, sexual abuse, never "being there", financially deficient, unable to be an equal partner, and on and on until you are able to see just what is coming down the pike. I promise you here. Your list will have everything you learned from your childhood. Now isn't that special?????
Okay so now you know. What to do? Change your thinking, change your actions, but you can not ever change anyone else. When you change your behavior to others you will receive a different reaction. Your job is to accept the new friend as he or she is. It is not your job to re-make him or her. It is simply your job to accept or to turn down whatever just walked into your life.
Remember that I said slow down with the bedtime thing. Okay. Another gift is that more information will be given with ease before sex occurs. After sex, both sides guard their turf because they do not want to destroy what is going on here. The man likes his set up and the female also likes the way the "nest " appears. Both shut up. Now back to some universal truths here to discover what has walked into your life before sex. Do they do what they say they will do? Do they show up on times or disappear with some flimsy excuse, do they pay their bills? Are they always truthful to you. Do they try to control the entire stage by never allowing your participation? (Do not ever believe that you can change bad habits this one will wear you out!)
Often times couple get involved with what I call power struggles. (this one can be comical) One example here is how we load the dishwasher.. Now do you really think that this is worth an argument here? How you hang your clothes up in a closet doesn't matter, but what matters is that you allow this soul to make some of his or her choices. As long as the job gets done does it matter who used the broom? You would be surprised how often this occurs. Restaurants is another delima. Is it that important on where you go to eat? Why not turn loose of the control here and try something new for a change?
I realize that I am poking fun at what I see couples do. But really, you should stay out of this silly power struggle if there is a problem here. But I am going to confess here this is difficult to do so practice, practice, practice.
Next post will be some stories that came to about this subject, you might like it.........Judith
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