Locating the "Soul Mate"

All of us have similar journeys.  Like all of us, we want the shortest way with the perfect path.  I too was the same way in regard to looking for a better mate.    We believe that once we read  new information, we think that we " have it, or understand it".  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  You have to apply what you have learned and put it into practice.   This is the spiritual truth of everything learned.  We must practice what we preach or, as we say in therapy, " you have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk".   I was told  I would be tested several times before the right person came along.  So sitting here, I thought that I would tell you my story and perhaps you might learn from my experience.  And begin the "art of practice". 

I have written often that first you must develop the list.    There are two list,  one is positive, and the other is negative.  You must have two list.  Begin with the negative which is all of that you do not want to have.  Your learned all of these traits from your parents, and that is what you have attracted in all of the subsequent relationships.  So start with all that you didn't like about your mother and father (or those that you lived with in your formative years) and create your list.  Here was  my list.  They were controlling,  critical, perfectionist, and punishing to the point that created a fear which developed into panic attacks, alcoholic and last co-dependent, as well as emotionally abusive.  Your list could be similar.  But it is up to you to write it down and look at it.  Because all of your previous relationships are on that list.    The positive list are those aspects that you should want in a relationship.  Such examples are, trust, the ability to earn a living,  a good partner that treats you with respect, that that does not rage and rant, one that tolerates and accepts the other for who they are.  I could go on and on here, but you should be able to create exactly what you are looking for in a partner. 

With my story, I attracted a good combination of both my mother and father.  It was comfortable for me as it was familiar.  So it took a long time for me to even understand that this relationship was not working.   My part in the attraction was simply this,  I attracted to that which was familiar, it felt normal, and made total sense.  Had I attracted to where I am today, I would have bolted to the door.  Where I am today and from what I have learned is nothing like what I was.    Today, I have boundaries,  I am able to stand up and tell the truth even to the point of accepting the fact that others might disagree with me.  I have a balanced relationship based upon love and respect.   My mate today has the right to disagree with me without fear of reprisal.   I accept that it is okay to get angry, it is not okay to rage.  And above all everything is open and discussed.  This is not easy to find in a relationship.  It is a journey on your part to become perfectly honest within yourself as to what you want.  It is not my job to find that soul, but yours.  Until you walk this path, you can choose to attract the same thing or learn to put down what you do not want to live with and continue looking until that soul emerges.  It is truthfully up to you.  God gave us the choice, now use it to find what you want.