Recovery from Addiction is a Spiritual Journey

The greatest of all changes for me was eliminating the need to alter my mind with substance abuse.  In my case it was alcohol, and for me entering the rooms of recovery was the greatest gift that had been given to me in my spiritual journey.  Certainly, I did not know it at the time.   For protection of the group, I will not reveal exactly what program I used, but I will tell you that it is indeed everywhere offering opportunity for recovery to all that need help.  What I share with you today is certainly my truth and my story and is not to be interpreted any other way. 

It is not the addiction that is the disease, it is the spiritual sickness locked possibly in our d.n.a. that leads to any form of substance abuse.  And yes, even food can fit into this category.  To me food is one of the hardest dilemmas because all of us wear it for everyone to see and observe.  What a horrid and hopeless feeling.  Usually, an addict will suffer with one or more addiction.  I  was such an individual.  My first addiction was alcohol, but   also food could just as well serve as an equal substitute.

So, how does addiction meet with spiritual growth?  Quite easily as addiction is an attempt by the addict to escape the reality of living on earth by using whatever it takes to achieve altered state of consciousness.  The result can be a horrendous  journey into the dark side where nightmares abound and a state of fear exist.  This can often lead to unhealthy behavior disorders as well as harm to self and others.   How do you stop this nightmare from becoming your reality?  Simply stop using the drug of your choice, and join, yes join a recovery program that offers 12 step work and begin a healthier approach to living.  My belief here this is the only way out of your hell.

While living on earth, we all must accept that the law of polarity deals with all of the polar opposites.  With good there is bad, up creates down,  serenity will have chaos as its opposite, and I can continue with the entire page here of polar opposites, but hopefully you understand that you will experience all of these emotions good and bad while living on earth.  Under the influence of drugs or whatever choice is made to alter your state of being, you will at some point in time this life or the next return have experience what you have chosen to not experience.  So, why not recovery now and be done with this wreckage.

Like all  others in recovery, the first and hardest for me was that I had attracted many of the episodes that were very painful.  This took some time for acceptance to sink in  and join the group, learn what to do, and begin to change the mess that had been made by my choices.   When you change your vibration, you change your attraction.  Like me, you probably will not know when  that change has occurred.  This takes time as well as work  on yourself to cause these changes to occur.  I agree with the room's philosophy, it takes at least a year before you find yourself.  Changing behavior will allow a change in what you are bringing into your life.  Better friendships, better relationships, better employment, all are the gifts of recovery.  Your job is to take the journey.  On a spiritual level you will be tested, that simply means it is up to you to refuse the old attractions several times until the new vibration is revealed.  Simply put, you will continue to receive the old attractions until you decide to do something about.  For that, you are responsible.  Take your time or jump into life and recover.

A New Way Of Thinking, Try a Different Approach

When learning how to change on a daily basis, sometimes it is as simple as trying different approaches in solving problems.  One example for me is alternative approaches with healing myself, and accepting responsibility for my health with alternative medical approaches.

  I  use acupuncture often as an alternative approach to medical problems. This enables me to create a better balance of living for myself.  Both  Eastern and Western medical practices work, but often in Western culture man has become arrogant to his way of thinking.  Why not try a different approach?  And, as  I say, I am learning to take my own advice here.  What an experience. 

We were told during the channelling sessions that the body knew how to heal itself.  Think about this.  For example when you scratch or cut yourself, doesn't the wound heal?   Acupuncture for me works in a similar method in that it taps into the meridians of energy to allow the body to heal.  One particular truth is certain, you must be cooperative by allowing your mind to receive this information and work on believing the possibility.  If on the other hand you claim that this won't work, then you are correct.  Remember, the power of the mind sets the stage for recovery, and that goes for you my friends who are reading this article.  You alone have the power to heal yourself. 

The physician who works on me is from China.  She is a medical doctor in China, but not allowed to practice medicine here in the United States.   This was a wonderful opportunity for me to learn about other cultures,  as well as  learning about the healing powers of acupuncture.   According to what she revealed to me it is true that acupuncture is several thousand years old, but she revealed to me that the ancient text show that no one knew who discovered this technique.  There was simply an instruction book or books.  I suspect here that this knowledge came from a surprising source from another system that could have been here to help in the last planetary shift.  The following passages somewhat confirm this thought.  Judge for yourself.

Again, I was not the channel here.  It was I who transcribed these tapes.  My writing at this time is automatic, but the old transcripts were from another source other than myself.  Enjoy.

YOU SAID YOU HAD COME AND HELPED US BEFORE, WHEN, AND WHAT DID YOU DO?

"There have been other Earth changes.  There have been times when we simply helped civilizations to "get going" as it is spoken.  When Atlantis exploded, people who survived Atlantis were dispersed in various directions over the Earth.   They needed help when they got there.   We helped them the same way that we are preparing to help now:  by teaching them, but also by supplying them with some equipment to use, giving or sharing with them our technology of how to use this.  Atlantis was very technologically advanced.  Many people who escaped did not know much of the technology.  The people who were more into technology were the people who perished.  The people who were into other  learning, and into seeing and feeling the changes as they were occurring even then, in listening to the pulse beat of the Earth, basically the people from the temples and the scribes and the people who were attuned survived.  These were not, as a general group, they were not the most scientific people of that community.  We were helping them in many ways to start various civilizations in other areas.  There have been many other times when we have helped, going back for millions of years.  "

YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED THAT ALL OF OUR RACES ARE FROM DIFFERENT STARS, AND I BELIEVE IN ONE OF THE READINGS IT WAS MENTIONED THAT WE DID NOT EVOLVE FROM APES.  BUT DID OUR RACE EVER LOOK APE-LIKE?  HOW DO THE CROMAGNUM MAN AND NEANDERTHAL MAN FIT INTO OUR BEING NOW?

" It is true that in a way we or you or whoever these bodies are that are called modern man in a way did evolve from the apes and in a way not.  There was what you call early man, and that part of your history is correct with an exception.  The star people and the Earth people became one.  Many of the modern day people are the result of the mating between Earth and star people, giving them qualities of both.  The Earth has always been physically less evolved because it is simply younger.  There have been times when star people left children here, so yes, evolvement from what you would call the ape, early man, and no, in that there is another element here that your science does not teach.   There are references to this in your Bible.  I believe the Bible talks about the sons of God and the daughters of Man.  There are some other references to that also in your Bible.  Look for it, you will  comprehend  what this means.  There has always been a close association between other stars and this planet.  Much of this knowledge is marked in different ways because the level of understanding this type of information is very limited and it is very threatening.  It should not be for everyone to know, not that it is horrible, but it is not something that everyone would understand. "

*Could this be the answer to such phenomenon as the pyramids, acupuncture, and other mysteries of the Earth that leave us pondering on their origins?  I certainly think so, but that is only my opinion.  I will have a pod cast shortly  on the Internet.. It will be called , The Spiritual Connection.  I am open to answering questions, receiving phone calls with questions, and the answers will be given on the show.  The Internet number is 281-310-0848 or you can GMAIL me at Judithhlane @ gmail.com with a question. 

The Reality of Life, Perhaps Revelation

Preparing me for all of the changes in life was difficult for me to comprehend.   To begin with, I did not see the need for me to change.  I, like many others thought that I was in pretty good shape both spiritually and mentally.  None of us are perfect, and all of us have plenty of room for spiritual growth.  I was no different than the next door neighbor.  I had work to do, and little did I realize just how much I needed to improve.  For that matter, I am still working on "self".  This will in deed continue until I am ready to cross over.

Following is what we were told about the nature of reality. 

"What is the nature of reality?  You see and hear and experience things, and you say that these things are real.   These things are in fact illusion.  They are real only as they relate to your concept and your interpretation through your senses.  There is one reality, and that reality is change.  What is, will change to something else every time.  The only thing that is reality is change.  It is important that you understand that, because people of the Earth plane tend to get caught up in what they perceive to be reality, and they hang onto it.  They become very sad, sometimes very despondent, in that they perceive this to be not only reality, but permanent reality.  There is no such thing.  Given time, given energy, any thing and everything will change.  If you approach life with this knowledge, and this attitude, them nothing seems quite the same as it might seem if you did not understand that.  Everything is in a state of transition.  Birth implies death, being implies not being. "

WHAT IS IT ABOUT THIS TIME THAT REQUIRES HELP FROM YOU IN THE WAY OF CHANGE?

"  Help from many sources.  This time is a time of preparation for changes that come very quickly.  The Earth is going through the cleansing process which is Earth changes.  The Earth is going through some cataclysmic times very shortly, and man has not developed to a point of being able to survive these changes without help.  This, you can interpret, is help from God, help from discarnate entities, help from us, help from any power that is willing to help.  It is our position to help in order to learn and to elevate our state of being.  We have always been on Earth as a light vibration in that we have helped before.  We watch this baby planet and hope that it does not go away or that you do not do yourselves in.  This is the same thing  that is happening now.  People are going to need the knowledge of how to develop their minds or their spirituality and their skills in order to make it through these changes.  There are many drastic changes coming.  In a number of years, society as you know it today will not exist.  There will be many changes that occur in the meantime.  These are changes that everyone will not readily understand, and will not be able to adopt to."

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T ADJUST TO THESE CHANGES?

" There will be many people who leave the Earth and incarnate later.  This is a cleansing period of time and there will be many people who choose on some level of their own consciousness to leave rather than to stay."

WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER TO BE THE MOST SEVERE CHANGE THAT IS GOING TO TAKE PLACE?

" Total change.  The structure of society in general will change.  The government system will change.  The weather will change.  The things that are now meaningful to people will be different and that which you might place lots of value on now will not be as important to you in a short period of time.  It is a spiritual reawakening here in that the emphasis is changing to a very spiritual level of thinking, where man, as we are, will be more considerate of others and more considerate of everything around him.  The focus will be different.  And that which was important before will no longer be important; there will be other things that will be more rewarding, more pleasing to the heart as we are moving into a time frame of learning to love from the heart, and learning to communicate on a different level.  In considering your day-to day life, the answer to that will be that everything will be changed.  It will all seem drastic although it is not drastic if you will step back and look at it.  It is natural evolution.  Man has progressed to the point on this Earth where he is just about to destroy himself.  Man is irreverent to everything around him.  Man has no concept of peace, or any of  the qualities that make for a healthy person or a healthy society.  Man has torn up the Earth, and nature will balance this by simple cleansing itself and going on.  This is not the first time this has happened on this planet, but maybe it will be the last.  If there is another, then it is so far into the future that it is not projected at this time.  But everything will change. "

* It doesn't take a mental giant to see that we live in a very selfish world.  The weather patterns have already begun to change, and in the United States it looks as if "Tornado Alley" has moved more to the eastern part of the United  States.

The political system everywhere is under attack, as well as religious doctrines and old outdated belief systems.  To put it mildly, why do we kill people based upon their own belief system.  I have a hard time with this one here. 

So societal change, spiritual change, weather change, geographic change, cultural change, language change, & those that I have not yet even thought about, but believe me, there are more in store for all of us.  What to do?  Accept, and work on self that should be a good starting point.   Judith

Working With Universal Truths & Solving Problems

We all have a common spark of the God energy.  It is with us always, but often we turn this energy off and contemplate the illusion of solving our own troubles or problems alone.  Usually, this is our truth because we think of ourselves as the only answer.  If something is not within our five senses than it cannot be so, or is not true.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The God energy is around us all of our lives, it is the driving force that gives us thought, life, attraction, and answers to everything that is needed for us to have while experiencing earth life itself. 

I, like everyone else, was large and in charge.  I had all of my answers, but never had a clue about anything.  I pointed the finger at others and saw their faults, but did not realize I was only recognizing myself.  What an absolute hoot. To say that I was a little bit critical of others is wrong, I was giving a major critique to the whole world.   Looking back  in time, I was solving nothing and creating more confusion in my own life while  going nowhere.  I slowly began to understand that there was something else in this wide world of life that might just be able to help me through the struggle of day to day living.  Alas, I discovered the spiritual truths.

These truths are in all major religious writings.  Sometimes it is like digging for gold to recognize them, but believe me, they are there.  Whatever your belief system might be, recognize that the power in understanding whatever it is that you need is within your own   ability , not necessarily with a church authority or the church itself, your decisions on these solutions are you choice and your responsibility.   You just need to recognize that the answers are always given to you, with a little patience in waiting for the answer to be given.  

According to the channelling session some years past, what follows, are some of the questions and answers given to us about some of these laws, and how they govern our lives.   I will conclude each question ask with my own opinion of what I have learned from these truths.  Enjoy  

June,23, 1987

WHEN YOU TALK OF UNIVERSAL LAWS, HOW MANY ARE THERE?

"There are, supposedly, in your way of categorizing, seven, but there are more.  It is not as simple as seven simple thoughts.  While they are simple in nature, there are many complex facets to each law.  It is not really correct to say seven, and yet you classify them as seven that that is good enough. 

In discussing the universal law of energy, understand that energy has to do with everything in your Universe.  Everything that is, is because of energy.  The law of polarity governs energy in that everything is positive and negative and polarized so that it both attracts and repels itself at the same time, thus producing phenomena or matter, as it may be.  But energy on a molecular level has to do with polarization of a positive and a negative charge such as an electrical charge.  But this process is repeated on every level in various dimensions to produce being. "

From me, today:

We are nothing more than a moving target of energy.  It is easy to understand that in order to operate a car you have to have a battery.   Whether we recognize this truth or not makes no difference these charges of electricity are both sent and received by each of us, and we too are equally responsible for these thoughts that both go and come.    We are made up of both positive and negative  charges.  Think of this in big picture version of the ego and the soul.  One is the spiritual self, the other the ego self , and neither  of  the two  should be considered either  good or bad.  They just are and they coexist  so that we may have life on earth.  One cannot function without the other in human form.  The brain is the "main frame" for the human that both receives and sends information that is sent into the Universe, and creates the world that the particular soul ,both sending and receiving, lives.

What does this mean to you the reader?  To begin with, clean up your thoughts as well as your actions.  You are creating the past, present, and future with all of these thoughts working together to teach you that which you need to learn.  These all come to you energy wise in the form of attraction. 

By working to change your thoughts as well as your actions will take some work, but believe me here.  Life will take on a much better perspective for you in all forms.  Clean up your life by changing the energy that you are creating for yourself.  This all comes from the God of your understanding whether you believe this or not.   Your choice..  

Stopping the War Within

Many years ago I had the opportunity to hear the Dali Lama.  Off I went to that lecture with pen and paper.  Now I thought the opportunity for clarity and purpose would be given.  This was going to be a magical time for me for at last I was going to be told the "secrets"s to the mystery of life itself.

The speech was good, and then the questions arrived, "How could we stop the war?"   Very simply he replied, "Stop the war from within".   I was  disappointed, the answer was too simple, too quick, and I left dejected.  Somewhere in my little brain that night, however, I knew he was correct, but surely there must or should be more.

 Here I sit at the keyboard today, and I now consider that to be the best advise for all of us to adopt.   Stopping the war from within takes patience, time, practice, and understanding that changing one's behavior is not a simple and easy task.  It is however a necessary one if we are going to help ourselves evolve.  We all must change.  Change our thinking, change our behavior, change our beliefs or truths, and in our daily lives set an example by attraction not promotion on how to live.  Nothing  is more important,  than that.  In essence,  it is basically doing or living by God's laws.   It doesn't matter what you do for a living, or where you live and with whom, it matters that you have the ability of acceptance and live in a peaceful  manner that does no harm to you or anyone else.   As a result  this will create a better attraction for those that need to learn this lesson may  then pattern their changes by what they have learned from watching you change your life.

We were told frequently that meditation was the main key to changing one's behavior.  It sometimes was rather more like sitting in a class room than in a channelling session.  Over and over again, the same advice.  However these many years later, I am hounding the same message to you the reader.  In my own 12 step work I continually hear, "I'm still looking for the spiritual awakening."  Wouldn't you know I rather lost it in my own personal share, by stating that it is no wonder, you do not meditate!   People who are working on changing their lives always think that the power is somewhere else.......I suffered and still have residual of the same disorder.  This is why I recognize the need.  Learning how to sit quietly, close the "head trash" and just be is very difficult to do.  Too many times, we give up before the miracle. 

The following questions focused upon meditation, feeling vibrations, and please what on earth did it mean! 
Again, we were spiritually admonished.   Looking back, I am amused and overwhelmed that these souls even took the time to work with this rowdy group.  We were like a bunch of squirmy school kids waiting for recess.  We had become the "hurry up and give us the good stuff gang".   For me I have now learned that age teaches us and wisdom can often come with time.  So be patient here, but learn to meditate.

I FEEL DIFFERENT TYPES OF VIBRATIONS WHEN MEDITATING.  SOMETIMES THIS FEELS PLEASANT, AND OTHER TIMES THE FEELING IS STRANGE.  MY QUESTION IS, WHAT  DO THESE VIBRATIONS TEACH ME?

"  Don't do anything with these feelings at this time.  You are doing exactly what you need to do at this time.  Just know that things are changing.  This is the trouble with this Earth.  You people need logical explanations for everything.   These messages or feelings are not centered in logic.  They are centered in faith.  It is centered in things that just are.  They do not necessarily have  to be dealt with.  If you have this experience, don't even think, what do I do with it.  If you have to do something with it, then that will come to you later, or there will be some way of the Universe telling you what to do with it.  (vibrations or messages) Not you demanding that the Universe tell you what to do.  Accept.  Be accepting of feelings, and let it be.  Why does everything have to have some practical value in your life today?"

IT IS CONFUSING WHEN MEDITATING.

"That is why you people are wired up incorrectly.  Everything has to have a purpose today.  That is why we're going to tilt the axis.  Let you people go swim here."   * In past sessions we were told that there would be a period of six months more or less of rain.  This suggested to me that some areas would stay underwater."

WHY ARE YOU SOUNDING ANGRY?

" Oh, I am not angry.  There are people who understand better.  And I understand who to communicate this way to.  This little lady in the corner has been trying to find an easier way since the day one."  * (Wouldn't you know he was referring to me.)

"We are here to straighten out your minds about things that might be confusing you.  We are here to express the need for you to learn the Universal Laws.  Learn them quickly, and learn them well.  It is very important that man learn to live in harmony with nature at all times. "  *(The energy shifted and the whole room was aware that another entity was taking over the conversation) 

*Next week's post will begin a series on some of the Universal Truths that were taught to this group.  I have already mentioned the law of truth which pretty much says it all.   I have also included Karma, and Dharma.  It might be helpful to research some of these subjects and ponder them.  If any questions emerge remember that I can be found soon on , "The Spiritual Connection", a podcast, as well as my telephone number 281-310-0848,  or certainly post a question on this blog and I too will respond.

Your Mind Has The Power, Use It Wisely

I now do my own automatic writing to create these blogs.  I completely and thoroughly understand that the information is being given to me by my spiritual guides.  They serve as my teacher as well.  But like all psychics, we are not always told everything that we want to know.  We are told only that which is needed for us to deal with earth life and learn ourselves.

So back to the basics here.  I was continually aware that there was power, and I was always looking for this source in either someone else or within objects that were hidden beneath the surface of earth.  Thirty years ago,  it would have been difficult to convince me that it was simply as easy as changing the way I thought.  There had to be something much more complicated than the idea was hidden in some secret chamber or somewhere else other than myself.  It took a long time for me to find that the power was within.   It is still true for me today when I write this message to you the reader that the power is within yourself to find your own answers to the truth.   However, it does take work on your part to get to this spiritual pathway.  However, get there you will.  If not now, later; however, getting there is the journey that you will eventually take.

First learn by telling the truth.  This takes some practice, and you will also tire of me saying the same thing over and over, but there is no way of getting around the fact that by being truthful, you simply do not create a mess that must later be cleaned up.  So get going. 

Second, be careful of your word and  your own thoughts.  This even goes to simple little instructions of not feeding your mind with bad thoughts or bad thinking habits.  Let me give you an example here.  Do not busy your mindset with something as stupid as horror movies.  Not healthy.  Remember that a thought is a thing.  Somewhere, some place, some poor soul is picking up that junk and acting upon the horror.  So, do not do this sort of thing. 

Understand this, I am for free speech, free thought, but when we choose to see or read  junk, we are simply programing the wrong information into our minds.  But you decide here for yourself. 

Third, do not put drugs into your mind that will alter your emotional state.  Learn to feel sadness, depression, happiness, joy and every emotion that earth has to offer without the disguise of drugs.  Alternating your thinking  with substance abuse only delays emotions that you will later have to deal with.  Not a fun idea when you think of it.  Meditating  with a mind high on a substance opens "Pandora's Box" and I have been told by many of my friends this can be a nightmare. 

The following reading was information given to me through another channel.  Some twenty seven years later, I find this truth to be stronger than ever.  Yes, I am drug free, alcohol free, and do work with others in recovery.  I have experienced enough of these nightmares to remain sober so that I can work to help others that will take this suggestion.   The following deal with understanding energy, power words, healing yourself, and controlling your thoughts.  Hear what these teachers had to say to us as we listened to the channel. 

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW NOW ABOUT HEALING ENERGY THAT CAN HELP US RIGHT NOW, OR RATHER, IF WE CAN FEEL THE ENERGY THAT WE ARE WORKING WITH?

"You can feel your energy all around you.  You can sharpen your skills toward feeling this energy through meditation.   You can pull the energy through your feet,  through the top of your head, from the Universe through your body out through your hands, and you can in fact feel the energy.  You can also feel your own energy flows once you tune into your own body.  You can also begin to feel external energy from objects around you and from the air itself.  You are in a cross current of energy fields at all times.  The only way to fine-tune yourself to this is through practice and  through, once again, meditation.  I know you are tired of hearing about that, but it is the only way to develop your mind and your higher skills.  Through this, you can begin to do many things.  You must use, not only pulling the energy in from the Universe, but you must use your own mind as an electrical battery.  We have given to you the information that thoughts are things, and thoughts are things and picture are things also.  Pictures are thoughts in pictures, so get a picture and you have a thought, and say some power words, and pull the energy in through the Universe.  You have a very powerful battery for transmitting energy.  This is the way you begin to learn to heal.  Open your mind, know that it will be done because if you think, well, this might work, you have created a doubt vibration.  Your doubt vibration is going to directly oppose any positive energy that you might put forth.  It isn't in fact going to work.  Give it a positive.  You people have an expression that is very true, and yet you do not hear this expression.  You have many expressions that are true dealing with this.  The one that is the funniest is, "The damn fool did not understand that it wouldn't work, so he tried it and it worked. "  If you will think about  this, this is very good philosophy because as long as you do not know that it won't work, and you do not understand that it won't work, then your thought form is that it will work.  There is no doubt in that.  So take out the doubt.  Don't think on any level that it won't work.  This is very difficult for you to do because you live in a positive/negative world.  If you will just take out the doubt and have only one alternative in your mind, then that is the way it will be.  Do you understand? "

WHAT IS A POWER WORD?

"A power word is any word that you put your own vibration into.  There are some universal power words.  Your name is a power word.  Anyone's first name is a power word provided it doesn't have ten syllables in it.  As long as it is a simple, forceful, powerful sound, then it is a power word.  The word "one" is a power word because of the vibrations that it gives.  The universal sound of aum, which is a chant, is another power word.  There are many power words. Do not ask anyone to give you a power word.  Do not ever pay anyone to give you a power word.  It is better to use your name, or use some energy that is compatible with you alone.  You can find it.  Try the word"one" or "two".  See what feels right to you.  And that is your power word. "

*  On healing I have learned it is first better to work upon self with healing self than to work on others.   Of course this is my opinion here, but doesn't make sense that to deal with someone who is addicted, it might be wise to not be using any addictive substance  as well?  I rest my case here.  Hope you all have a pleasant week and if there are any questions use my g-mail google number and I will call back with the response.  281-310-0848.  Judith

Getting on the Path to True Love

Is it easy to find your true love?  How do you know it will last?  How will I know?  These are many of the questions that are ask of me when those seeking a  healthy relationship.  Why is this so difficult?  The answer although is simple is not easy.  That you are ready for a relationship is certain.  You will receive it, but be careful of what you are looking for  until you are ready.  The following is the way I learned to understand and find a healthy relationship.  I would appreciate it if there are questions that you either post a comment or call me on my g-mail number 281-310-0848, and I will help you understand where you are.

The first rule to remember is the law of attraction.  Opposites attract and like repels.  Heard this before in science class?  Well, it is just as true spiritually as it is scientifically.  What you attract in others is often the very lesson that you need to learn.  First and foremost the physical attraction is sexual in nature, and totally misunderstood by all.  It is the bonding glue that is causing the attraction to occur.  And  the hotter the flame so to speak, the hotter the attraction.  Pay attention because this does not mean that "this is the one".  These feelings are drawing you  to your lesson here.  Likely if you have had one relationship fail after another, without homework on yourself, I am sorry to reveal that you are probably attracting the same  personality type over and over again until you figure this out.   Before sex, it is important to first get to know the individual that you are attracting.  So before jumping into bed on the first date slow down and  pay attention here or get burned again and repeat this lesson one more time. 

Going within to take a deep look at what you are attracting takes a little homework on your part to understand how you repeat the same type of person over and over again.   So let's begin by looking first at your parents of origin.  Write down four or five qualities about each parent that you did not like.  Examples might be something like perfectionist, argumentative, critical, submissive, failure to protect you,  addiction,and emotionally withdrawing when you needed support as a child.  Continue with  listing those dislikes that occurred   with other serious relationships.   After some thoughtful consideration, here is the whopper.  This is the list of qualities that you bring to the relationship either in yourself or in the other soul that needs to be addressed.  We call that list in recovery, defects of character.   Everyone on earth has such a list.  Some list are worse than others, but rest assured all of us have such a list. 

What does the list teach us?  That we are not in control of others.  That in order to achieve a good, healthy, relationship, we have to accept the partner as they are.  It is not our job to remake them.  It is our job to choose if we can live with that person and all their defects of character, or leave them be as they are. 

One of my attractions was emotional abuse.  I was never good enough.   I did not see this one coming when I first understood the attraction.   Had I understood the emotional abuse that was being dished out to me in the way of sarcasm,  painful jokes at my expense,  I would have never been in the relationship to begin with.   Abuse on any level is not love.   Fixing someone else is also not love.  My responsibility in this type of attraction was to leave it alone and move forward.    So for you the reader here if you do not like your list, find  someone else, turn the pain down, or in simple English "Get the Hell Out!".  This lesson must be practiced.  Trust me here, you must physically turn down what you do not like.  Reading a book or this article takes more that mentally understanding what you are doing to yourself here. 

Next suggestion here.  Karmically do not get into a relationship that has not yet disconnected.  That means if separated not divorced do not date this person.  You are simply creating some karmic baggage here that you do not need.  No matter how good the story, believe me, you do not know all of the truth.   I will say that there is no  exception to this rule.  Yes, certain souls have married or joined together before other relationships were not ended.  However just because they are married does not mean that the marriage is that good.  A good marriage must be based on truth.  Cheating on a partner while looking for another does not establish a firm foundation for trust.  No exceptions here, a good relationship is based upon trust.  Prepare to skin your knees up front and tell the truth.  If it is worth a good relationship the honesty will carry you through.  If not, you will see later down the road that it was good that your moved on.

Last but not least.  Do not doubt yourself.  If you want a relationship, then put the thought out, and you will attract this new soul to you.  However, if you cast a doubt on your thinking you will slow the process down.  You are what you think, so do not think that this cannot be accomplished.

What do you want to receive in a relationship?  Most do not even prepare this type of list.  Certainly someone who is spiritually connected to a healthy belief system might help.   How about finances?  Wouldn't it be nice to attract someone who was capable of earning a good living?   Create your list!  Tall, short, handsome, smart, congenial, addictive free, whatever you wish, but make this list.   Think about these qualities that are needed  with your attraction.  Make the list, put this in a safe place, and look at it as the attraction process begins.  Refine the list, but always be truthful to what you want  to attract in a partner.

In conclusion, I do not believe in soul mates.  We all evolve at different speeds.  So suppose you are ready to evolve and feeling like you are in "college" while your partner is still happy to sit in the second grade.  Is it fair for you to continue spiritually dragging that soul along as you climb the spiritual ladder or should it be easier for him or her  to make their own decisions about their own spiritual growth?  I rather think that we all must have our own individual choices.  The relationship will last as long as it is supposed to last.  If it is a lifetime then good, but if not, learn to move on and remember what the relationship taught you.   

Again, if there is a problem with job relationships,  partners, friends, I  would appreciate your questions and will do my best to answer them.  281-310-0848.  Judith