Is it easy to find your true love? How do you know it will last? How will I know? These are many of the questions that are ask of me when those seeking a healthy relationship. Why is this so difficult? The answer although is simple is not easy. That you are ready for a relationship is certain. You will receive it, but be careful of what you are looking for until you are ready. The following is the way I learned to understand and find a healthy relationship. I would appreciate it if there are questions that you either post a comment or call me on my g-mail number 281-310-0848, and I will help you understand where you are.
The first rule to remember is the law of attraction. Opposites attract and like repels. Heard this before in science class? Well, it is just as true spiritually as it is scientifically. What you attract in others is often the very lesson that you need to learn. First and foremost the physical attraction is sexual in nature, and totally misunderstood by all. It is the bonding glue that is causing the attraction to occur. And the hotter the flame so to speak, the hotter the attraction. Pay attention because this does not mean that "this is the one". These feelings are drawing you to your lesson here. Likely if you have had one relationship fail after another, without homework on yourself, I am sorry to reveal that you are probably attracting the same personality type over and over again until you figure this out. Before sex, it is important to first get to know the individual that you are attracting. So before jumping into bed on the first date slow down and pay attention here or get burned again and repeat this lesson one more time.
Going within to take a deep look at what you are attracting takes a little homework on your part to understand how you repeat the same type of person over and over again. So let's begin by looking first at your parents of origin. Write down four or five qualities about each parent that you did not like. Examples might be something like perfectionist, argumentative, critical, submissive, failure to protect you, addiction,and emotionally withdrawing when you needed support as a child. Continue with listing those dislikes that occurred with other serious relationships. After some thoughtful consideration, here is the whopper. This is the list of qualities that you bring to the relationship either in yourself or in the other soul that needs to be addressed. We call that list in recovery, defects of character. Everyone on earth has such a list. Some list are worse than others, but rest assured all of us have such a list.
What does the list teach us? That we are not in control of others. That in order to achieve a good, healthy, relationship, we have to accept the partner as they are. It is not our job to remake them. It is our job to choose if we can live with that person and all their defects of character, or leave them be as they are.
One of my attractions was emotional abuse. I was never good enough. I did not see this one coming when I first understood the attraction. Had I understood the emotional abuse that was being dished out to me in the way of sarcasm, painful jokes at my expense, I would have never been in the relationship to begin with. Abuse on any level is not love. Fixing someone else is also not love. My responsibility in this type of attraction was to leave it alone and move forward. So for you the reader here if you do not like your list, find someone else, turn the pain down, or in simple English "Get the Hell Out!". This lesson must be practiced. Trust me here, you must physically turn down what you do not like. Reading a book or this article takes more that mentally understanding what you are doing to yourself here.
Next suggestion here. Karmically do not get into a relationship that has not yet disconnected. That means if separated not divorced do not date this person. You are simply creating some karmic baggage here that you do not need. No matter how good the story, believe me, you do not know all of the truth. I will say that there is no exception to this rule. Yes, certain souls have married or joined together before other relationships were not ended. However just because they are married does not mean that the marriage is that good. A good marriage must be based on truth. Cheating on a partner while looking for another does not establish a firm foundation for trust. No exceptions here, a good relationship is based upon trust. Prepare to skin your knees up front and tell the truth. If it is worth a good relationship the honesty will carry you through. If not, you will see later down the road that it was good that your moved on.
Last but not least. Do not doubt yourself. If you want a relationship, then put the thought out, and you will attract this new soul to you. However, if you cast a doubt on your thinking you will slow the process down. You are what you think, so do not think that this cannot be accomplished.
What do you want to receive in a relationship? Most do not even prepare this type of list. Certainly someone who is spiritually connected to a healthy belief system might help. How about finances? Wouldn't it be nice to attract someone who was capable of earning a good living? Create your list! Tall, short, handsome, smart, congenial, addictive free, whatever you wish, but make this list. Think about these qualities that are needed with your attraction. Make the list, put this in a safe place, and look at it as the attraction process begins. Refine the list, but always be truthful to what you want to attract in a partner.
In conclusion, I do not believe in soul mates. We all evolve at different speeds. So suppose you are ready to evolve and feeling like you are in "college" while your partner is still happy to sit in the second grade. Is it fair for you to continue spiritually dragging that soul along as you climb the spiritual ladder or should it be easier for him or her to make their own decisions about their own spiritual growth? I rather think that we all must have our own individual choices. The relationship will last as long as it is supposed to last. If it is a lifetime then good, but if not, learn to move on and remember what the relationship taught you.
Again, if there is a problem with job relationships, partners, friends, I would appreciate your questions and will do my best to answer them. 281-310-0848. Judith
The first rule to remember is the law of attraction. Opposites attract and like repels. Heard this before in science class? Well, it is just as true spiritually as it is scientifically. What you attract in others is often the very lesson that you need to learn. First and foremost the physical attraction is sexual in nature, and totally misunderstood by all. It is the bonding glue that is causing the attraction to occur. And the hotter the flame so to speak, the hotter the attraction. Pay attention because this does not mean that "this is the one". These feelings are drawing you to your lesson here. Likely if you have had one relationship fail after another, without homework on yourself, I am sorry to reveal that you are probably attracting the same personality type over and over again until you figure this out. Before sex, it is important to first get to know the individual that you are attracting. So before jumping into bed on the first date slow down and pay attention here or get burned again and repeat this lesson one more time.
Going within to take a deep look at what you are attracting takes a little homework on your part to understand how you repeat the same type of person over and over again. So let's begin by looking first at your parents of origin. Write down four or five qualities about each parent that you did not like. Examples might be something like perfectionist, argumentative, critical, submissive, failure to protect you, addiction,and emotionally withdrawing when you needed support as a child. Continue with listing those dislikes that occurred with other serious relationships. After some thoughtful consideration, here is the whopper. This is the list of qualities that you bring to the relationship either in yourself or in the other soul that needs to be addressed. We call that list in recovery, defects of character. Everyone on earth has such a list. Some list are worse than others, but rest assured all of us have such a list.
What does the list teach us? That we are not in control of others. That in order to achieve a good, healthy, relationship, we have to accept the partner as they are. It is not our job to remake them. It is our job to choose if we can live with that person and all their defects of character, or leave them be as they are.
One of my attractions was emotional abuse. I was never good enough. I did not see this one coming when I first understood the attraction. Had I understood the emotional abuse that was being dished out to me in the way of sarcasm, painful jokes at my expense, I would have never been in the relationship to begin with. Abuse on any level is not love. Fixing someone else is also not love. My responsibility in this type of attraction was to leave it alone and move forward. So for you the reader here if you do not like your list, find someone else, turn the pain down, or in simple English "Get the Hell Out!". This lesson must be practiced. Trust me here, you must physically turn down what you do not like. Reading a book or this article takes more that mentally understanding what you are doing to yourself here.
Next suggestion here. Karmically do not get into a relationship that has not yet disconnected. That means if separated not divorced do not date this person. You are simply creating some karmic baggage here that you do not need. No matter how good the story, believe me, you do not know all of the truth. I will say that there is no exception to this rule. Yes, certain souls have married or joined together before other relationships were not ended. However just because they are married does not mean that the marriage is that good. A good marriage must be based on truth. Cheating on a partner while looking for another does not establish a firm foundation for trust. No exceptions here, a good relationship is based upon trust. Prepare to skin your knees up front and tell the truth. If it is worth a good relationship the honesty will carry you through. If not, you will see later down the road that it was good that your moved on.
Last but not least. Do not doubt yourself. If you want a relationship, then put the thought out, and you will attract this new soul to you. However, if you cast a doubt on your thinking you will slow the process down. You are what you think, so do not think that this cannot be accomplished.
What do you want to receive in a relationship? Most do not even prepare this type of list. Certainly someone who is spiritually connected to a healthy belief system might help. How about finances? Wouldn't it be nice to attract someone who was capable of earning a good living? Create your list! Tall, short, handsome, smart, congenial, addictive free, whatever you wish, but make this list. Think about these qualities that are needed with your attraction. Make the list, put this in a safe place, and look at it as the attraction process begins. Refine the list, but always be truthful to what you want to attract in a partner.
In conclusion, I do not believe in soul mates. We all evolve at different speeds. So suppose you are ready to evolve and feeling like you are in "college" while your partner is still happy to sit in the second grade. Is it fair for you to continue spiritually dragging that soul along as you climb the spiritual ladder or should it be easier for him or her to make their own decisions about their own spiritual growth? I rather think that we all must have our own individual choices. The relationship will last as long as it is supposed to last. If it is a lifetime then good, but if not, learn to move on and remember what the relationship taught you.
Again, if there is a problem with job relationships, partners, friends, I would appreciate your questions and will do my best to answer them. 281-310-0848. Judith
No comments:
Post a Comment